Throughout the world of social media, there are blog posts, Pinterest boards, Facebook groups and Instagram images showing us all the amazing things women are accomplishing and pretty much: doing it all. Their homes are perfectly cleaned and organized. They’re running successful blogs or small businesses from home while giving incredible advice on organization, child rearing, and time management.
We all see these posts and think to ourselves: how does she do it all? We begin to believe that we too should be able to go to work, help provide for our family, take care of our home and at the end of the day seduce our husbands and be full of energy.
The reality is, women who “do it all” are mythical figures. Despite this, as women we still fall prey to the delusion that we should somehow be doing it all. We need to realize that no one does it all and perhaps, more importantly, we shouldn’t try to do it all. Here are my three reasons why you should never seek to do it all.
1. It’s an Absolutely Impossible Standard to Meet
The woman who does it all is a myth and all of us are susceptible to buying into it. The images and articles we are bombarded with create a false expectation that a woman can work a full-time high stress/high paying job and be the same kind of wife and mom she would have been without that job. This is an impossible standard to meet. NO ONE can achieve this.
What’s more, this myth exists not just with professional women, but really with all women. Whether you work a full-time job outside of the home or are a stay at home mom, we fall into the trap of thinking that we should somehow be able to do it all, whatever all is. The worst part is that we repeatedly berate ourselves for failing at achieving this unrealistic expectation of perfection.
2. In The End: You Need to Do What Makes You Happy
How many times have you started your day with a mile-long list of tasks you hope to accomplish? When you reached the end of the day and only had a few things crossed off of your list, how did you feel? Frustrated? Discouraged?
Why do you feel this way? Because you have set yourself up for failure, instead of success. When you try to reach an impossible standard of doing it all, discouragement is sure to follow. Beat discouragement by recognizing that you have been created with unique gifts that carry their own unique strengths and weakness.
3. By Doing Less, You Have So Much More
It’s an interesting dynamic, when we stop trying to do it all, we gain so much more. Look at what you may gain when you stop trying to do it all:
You Gain More Meaning in Your Life
What we think about has a tremendous impact on our actions. The first step to stop trying to do it all is believing that you do not have to do it all. My life has more meaning today than when I was trying to do it all.
You Gain More of Who You Are
The woman doing it all is only an illusion. Stop trying to do what you think everyone else does and be true to your own special gifts. When you stop trying to be someone else, you gain more of who you are.
You Gain Peace and Joy
We spend so much time beating ourselves up for not doing it all. But when you give yourself grace, you realize it’s ok to drop some of the balls you are juggling. In doing so, you gain the joy of peace and contentment with what you are able to do well.
Throughout my life, I’ve always thought that I can do everything. In the end, I’ve run myself down and made people have more expectations of me than me having of myself. It’s hard to say no sometimes, because you want to please everyone. Truth is, not everyone needs to be pleased and looking after yourself is important for self care.
Bottom line: You can’t do it all and you should stop expecting yourself to be able to do.
With Love | Nikki xo